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SEPTEMBER 23, 2016
Article By Kelli Jones  // Empowering Everyday Women Ministries
Here’s the advice an abstinence advocate gave 7th
graders about waiting for sex that we can all use
There are many excuses teens (and adults) regularly hear and use about why waiting for sex isn’t
possible.

But an abstinence advocate and women’s ministry leader is helping young women sift through the lies
with honest conversation.

Rattling off and debunking excuses, Carol Sallee, director of women’s ministries at New Beginnings
Church in Bixby, OK, started with a popular justification.

“‘We couldn’t help ourselves,’” she said, according to
Enid News. “Yes, you can. When was the last
time you went to the mall and people were laying on the ground outside The Gap having sex? You
can control yourself.”

Sallee was imparting wisdom to help girls from Garfield County remain abstinent. And even though her
audience was made up of seventh-grade girls at an Abstinence Tea hosted by the Hope Outreach
Parenting Ministry, her insights are useful for women at any age.

“‘It was an accident,” continued Sallee, moving on to the next over-used excuse for premarital sex.
“’This is accidental sex: I’m walking out in the morning to get my newspaper, fully dressed. There is a
man coming toward me on a bicycle. He is also fully dressed. We crash into each other, our clothes fly
up into the air, we land on the sidewalk and we are having sex,” she said in the mocking scenario
demonstrating the absurdity of that line of reasoning. “It’s never accidental.”

Aside from doing a bit of myth-busting, Sallee educated attendees on what they need to believe if
they want to be successful on their abstinence journey.

“You have to believe you were created special and you are of great worth,” she said. “You have to
believe there is a unique plan for your life, and you need to live your life with that future in mind. And
you need to know it’s worth the wait.”

Since statistics show that half of American teens have had sex by the time they turn 18, Sallee strove
to make a very strong case for waiting.

“Why should you wait?” she asked. “Pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases. Girls carry the
biggest weight in that. We carry the child. STDs do the most damage to our bodies.”

Realizing that no one can force anyone to wait, Sallee said, “You could go ahead and have sex now if
you want to, but there could come a time when you will say ‘I wish I had waited,’” she said. “So how do
you wait?”

She answered her own question with this: “Be responsible with your body. You control your body.
Limit time alone with boys. And if it’s not for sale, don’t advertise it. You can absolutely look adorable
and still be covered.”

Sallee added, “We’re not saying, ‘Don’t have sex,’” she said. “We are saying, ‘Can you wait for the
right time?’ Wait for your honeymoon night.”

Great advice.